Monday, December 7, 2009

boracay



so there you go... i remembering taking pictures of everything i saw back then... so im uploading one now and the rest is still to come.. =)


i wish for a sony a850 SLR camera.. =)


who would be soooooo generous to give me one? raise your hands please!!!!! =)

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

for J

It’s hard to be with righteous people because at the end of the day, no matter how much you try to explain, no matter how much you say that it is the person’s fault, still, you’ll be the one at fault… the one to say you’re sorry… the one who gets all the blame..


 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


For J,


because in the end you will always be at fault to B. you're always the one saying you're sorry even if it wasn't your fault....

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

thanks be to GOD!




i was just preoccupied for the last couple of weeks and blogging was not on the top of my list back then... for the last month a couple of typhoons hit our country but the worst that could happen was Typhoon "Ondoy" (try googling Ondoy and you will see a couple of hits)  anyway, the typhoon was not that strong, i believe it was categorized as signal number 2.  Typhoons normally hit the country since we are a tropical country and near the equator but then again, signal no. 2 typhoons were not something you should be afraid of. we have had signal no. 4 so a no. 2 should not be something to worry about.. 


but something must have triggered the flooding all over the country. i have heard news that reservoir waters were released to prevent the breakage of the reservoir which added to the flood in most of the parts of the country... i have personally experienced the flooding..i'll be attaching pictures taken..





This was one picture taken.. you can see the very heavy traffic, actually, cars are not moving and you can see people stranded and walking and trying to go home.. luckily, i did not go out of the house..


This other photo, you can see that the water is continuously rising and is already at waist high of people and the bus is stranded in the middle of nowhere and the people there are already panicky due to the fact that they will be stranded inside the bus and they of course are worried about their family and houses...





in another picture, you will see that cars are already floating in the flood.. a lot of cars were destroyed during the typhoon...



even i myself experienced the extreme and heavy flooding.. it was friday night and i was rushed to the hospital and had a dextrose stuck in my hands due to hyperventilation after being rested and given a couple of meds doctors advised me that I could go home and take my rest there and do not engage in strenuous activities for the following day.  saturday is my school day so i've decided when i woke up saturday morning that i will not be going to school because first the doctor told me not to and second it was already flooded in our area, waist length to be exact.  so i've called up our school and asked to be excused for the class since i really can't make it but upon calling the school administrator said that classes are suspended due to the heavy rains and floods.. so i called up a few friends who i know are at school and asked them how they are doing.. i am attaching pictures of our school in flood.






















i was kind of worried for my friends who happened to be stranded in school and i believe they spent 28hours inside the school, trapped, hungry, cold, thirsty, wet and sleepless... i pity what had happened to them but i also experienced tremendous flooding inside our home...


though i was advised by my doctor to avoid strenuous work and activity i had no choice but to get up from bed and help in bringing all our appliances from downstairs to the other vacant room at the second floor but sadly, the flood was uncontrollable.. in a matter of 3 hours, flood was already in our second floor and was still rising up, all our appliances, including the refrigerator was flooded and we have no other food...we have to let the appliances be flooded since if we bring those stuff up into our third floor we will have no space where we can sleep...


but sleep was not coming to me,.... we kept on prayer for the rain to stop and the water to keep from rising because one more hour of continuous raining would leave us stranded inside the house which even might cause our death.. 


fear crept up to my spine and we kept on praying for the winds and storm to calm.. at around 2am, sunday, rain stopped and the flood was subsiding.. upon waking up at around 7am.. i was a bit remorse and happy at the same time.. sad because all of our appliances were flooded and was not functioning anymore, because all my book collections which was nearly a hundred was also soaked in flood and mud, because almost all my clothes were muddy and i have nothing to wear except if i will buy new sets of clothes, sad because we have no food and food at the moment was so scarce that we have to go at about 8kilometers before we can buy food because the nearest mall in our area was also flooded and most of the people were panic buying and had to get lots of food,...


but you know what i have learned after this? i was very happy and relieved after the storm has passed because i know, during the hardest and toughest moments of our lives, GOD is there to help us, to guide us, to lend a hand and HE alone can save us.. HE heard all our prayers and stopped the flooding and the storm.. i know it was NOT HIS FAULT why it rained so hard, i know that HE wants us to keep our faith in HIM during the toughest time of our lives because it is only then that we know we can be safe...


THANK GOD!! PRAISE BE TO HIM!!!!

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

risks

in life we should take risks
we should live life to the fulest
do everything we want
enjoy every single second
be useful.

laugh all you want.
cry like nobody is watching.
 help and get involved.
expose your feelings.
be brave and bold.

reach for your dreams
love evn if you'll get hurt
live and be not afraid to die
hope and always have faith.

try and don't give up
bre creative
be different
live up to your own rules

risk is a part of life
risk involvement
risk failure
if a person risks, he wins
everytime he fails, he'll rise up


in risking,
a few battles maybe lost
but we're sure to win the war

if you risk nothing
you'll dull your spirit
you might avoid pain and suffering
but you cannot experience
how to love, grow, mature, learn and change


but as long as you risk, 
you'll find happiness
no "what ifs" or "if onlys" will cross your mind
then your spirit will be free


remember only dead fishes go along with the flow.

Friday, September 18, 2009

copycats

funny that one day no one bothers to read my blogs and then the next day poof! i just saw two of my own blog topics being copied. and you know what i am not in the least pissed off or irritated by this...here is why:


1.  appreciate.  wow! thank you! although you copied my two blog topics and just interchange words, sentences or phrases still i guess you appreciate what i have written that is why you copy it.


2. enlightenment.  i just pray you will have one so that you don't get to copy other people's ideas that much.


3. gratefulness.  my mother taught me no matter what other people do to you, you should be grateful that it was only what they have done for they could have done worst.


4. spreading around.  at least my blog ideas get spread around like virus.


5. originality.  i know i was first before you posted that blog so at least i get the first kudos.


6. prayer. i really really really wish that you get to blend your own ideas. ideas are just out there waiting to be cultivated. if you can't write a whole blog just write a line or two then save it in your drafts file.  i know of a fellow blogger who does that.  believe me, ideas will come to you in time, i have been writing for our school paper since grade school and up until now that i am in my graduate studies.  it helps when you have an idea then write something about it. do not please copy ideas of other people. 


alright? so there you go.  i am not angry or pissed or whatever with you i just wish you have ideas of your own it really is frustrating when you can't write anything for yourself.


xoxo, 





Wednesday, September 16, 2009

the law of the garbage truck

i have received a email today the subject of which is the "LAW OF THE GARBAGE TRUCK" i read onto the article and found it truly amazing, so I'm copy pasting it here... i believe it is of the creation of david j. pollay.. 
happy reading!


xoxo,
vanessa


__________________________________________________

One day I hopped in a taxi and we took off for the airport.  We were driving in the right lane when suddenly a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us.  My taxi driver slammed on his brakes, skidded, and missed the other car by just inches.  The driver of the other car whipped his head around and started yelling at us.  

My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy.  I mean, he was really friendly.  So, I asked, "Why did you just do that?  This guy almost ruined your car and sent us to the hospital."  This is when my taxi driver taught me what I now call, "The Law of the Garbage Truck."

He explained that many people are like garbage trucks.  They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of disappointment, and full of anger.  As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it and sometimes they'll dump it on you.

Don't take it personally.  Just smile, wave, and wish them well, say a prayer for them and move on.  Don't take their garbage and spread it to other people at work, at home, or on the streets.  The bottom line is that successful people do not let garbage trucks take over their day.

Life's too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, so love the people who treat you right.  Forgive the ones who don't.  We're not always responsible for everything that happens to us, but we are responsible for how we react to what happens.  Life is 10% what you make it and 90% how you take it!
  
Have a wonderful, garbage-free day!!!!!!!

Saturday, September 12, 2009

4 September 2009
12:27 p.m.


____________________________________________

Life is a mere passageway
to prepare ourselves
for the life beyond

we are in a constant flux
a constant change
a constant need
a constant hurdle

life does not end when 
we don't get want we want
it does not end when we are tired
it only ends when we are six feet underground
bu then again, 
we are to live another life
in another place
in another time
in another space

Thursday, September 10, 2009

a warm cup

I nod, looking at the way you hesitate to take my hand so near yours, I know you’re already gone.  I will make it easy for both of us, I tell myself I will forget the feel of your hands on my skin.  I will smile and tell you that I’m happy for you because that’s what I want to believe.  I will hope you will be back soon nor say that I wish I were going with you.  Instead, I will keep in mind that there is nothing between us anymore.  It’s just that this coffee is warm and I am so cold

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

solitude

12:00 a.m.
thursday
19 april 2002


eyes fixed on the wall
everything in this world seems so small
the queen of the solitary room
often wondering what fate would bring
as i lavishly dream,
i'm waiting for the time
which can be called mine
young which i may seem
yet then i have a mind so keen
i can't wait to gout and show the world
what my life is about
a cowardice i am before and a major bore
but now i've learned to grow and mature
to become successful and sure
the solitude of the night,
makes me think straight and realize what's right
with a wonderful mother by my side
who taught me of pride
i've got to decided what to do with my life
and not hide from all the sly
and as my life goes on,
and with the help of the solemn night
i know i've got to be strong,
to be gallant and bold
to remove all doubts and pain
to relinquish all the hatred
so that in time i can be healed and mended
but as of the momemt, 
i'm the queen of the solitary room
waiting for the day of the doom!

lights on

11:30 p.m.
Thursday
18 April 2002


hope you'll enjoy reading..


_____________________________________________________________


11:00 p.m. on the dot
staring blankly at the clock
soft music fills the lonely room
adding gloom to the sad light of the moon
i let my mind drift
as i allow myself to fall asleep
yet no matter what i do
i still can't seem to get enough of you
i've tried to set things right
but it just weakens my might
i've got this funny feeling that this love is wrong
but why is it that every time i see you my heart sings a song?
& i just can't look into y9our eyes
because i know i'll melt like an ice
my mind is now in shatters
as my heart rattles
i now can't think straight
i'm already dizzy from all of this thinking
& as i leave my lights on
i'll offer a prayer to the kingdom of Zion
to guide you in your sleep
as the night becomes deep.

Friday, September 4, 2009

take-out love

I remember writing this way way back high school.. wow!!! time has really passed!

Love don’t come in packages
It is not delivered in houses
Nor is it brought by air mail
Love don’t some in packages
So why are you giving it to me?
It isn’t fair
To give me a take-out love
I’ve got a take-out love
Its been given to me
Why, oh why, do I have a take out love?
Hands jammed in my pockets
Walking under the sun
Along with other guys
I didn’t know you are capable of being jealous
But why are you
Still giving me
A take-out love

love

i wrote this poem way way back college... hope you'll like it...


Love is the most expressed word by bards & glee men,
to most heathens, they don't believe in love
love is beautiful when you are cradled by something solemn
is it the reigning of the dove?
so pure, so soft & so white?

is it a canny feeling?
something so metaphysical?
is it a realm of understanding?
it is often in metrical
but it is something you have to be cautious about..

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Rational Psychology

1:41 p.m.
22 September 2004


I am not a poet
I do not compose anything
I cannot write a single line
or even rhyme a word

I am not a poet
I have not ideas cultivated in mind
Just a dark, blank thought
Which I cannot even describe

I am not a poet
I am just a nobody
Not a single word in this
Is considered poetry

I am not a poet
I am not writing poetry
This is not a poem
& again, I am not a poet
- i wrote this poem sometime in 2001 and i just can't seem to find a venue before to post it in, so i'm digging up old poems to post.. just sharing thought... thanks for reading-
a mystery of love surround you
fantasy is often sen in you
your features are one of a kind
you are a beautiful one
your golden brown hair
those eyes sparkling under the moon
those cheeks that often blush
that soft, warm & tender voice
your passionate kiss
still felt in my lips
the charming smile
that makes me weak
it's a spark of magic
a magic that will linger
you're beautiful inside and out
that's why you're so special

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

destress!!!!!

i have tons of work to do.. i am literally spending 12 hours a day at work.. plus when i get home i need to study for my MBA classes.. darn! i wish i could take a week or two off from work but sadly, i can't even get out for a day or two without calls from officemates and bosses who needs a help on things..

i am having a hard time to write properly.. i can't get my ideas straight.. i can't let my poetic blood run through my veins again.. i can't write.. i am soooooo stressed... i want to rest but i just can't... work load don't permit me to take a leave...=(

i don't socialize anymore.. i can't have time for that... 12 hours at work.. 3 studying.. 2 hours for eating.. 2 hours for travel to and from work and or school...1 hour for resting before going to bed and other stuff i could squeeze into that one hour... darn! i literally sleep for 4 hours or less in a day... i am sooooo beginning to hate all the work load!!! argh!!!!!

but nonetheless, i really can't complain that much since at least, i do have a job and i am getting paid but still i need to declutter... i really can't write anything now.. not even a single paragraph or phrase!!!! =(

i need to declutter my life.. i need to destress.. i need to do a lot of sleeping.. i need to rest... but how?!?!?!??!

Up

I lazied up in our house over the weekend. I did not attend my MBA classes last Saturday and Sunday was a no work day for me and Monday was a HOLIDAY!!! yipee! So what to do? What to do? What to do? Decided to go to the movie house since I have long missed out on the movie UP.

Viewers of the movie were kids and adults alike. I love watching cartoons even if i'm already 23 but what puzzled me was a lot there were actually adults watching, not the ones who were tagged along by their children nor were baby sitting for their siblings, nieces and nephews...

While watching the movie, i then realized that watching the movie is not just kid's stuff. It has morals.  It has lessons. It teaches people how to move on with their lives when they have lost the loved ones, it teaches people to know how to choose and how to prioritize and it greatly teaches about life, family, friends and love..

So, you guys, who wants to be kids again, who are kids at heart and who will be bringing their kids along, a good cartoon-movie...(o'_'o)

xoxo,

vanessa

Friday, August 28, 2009

for my beloved



i love you and i honestly do... 
i think you know who you are..
this is for you...

to the man i married

You are my earth and all that earth implies
The gravity that ballasts me in space,
the air I breathe, the land that stills my cries
For food & shelter against devouring days
and sets my north & south, east & west,
You are my final elemental clay
The driven heart must turn to for its rest

If in your arms that hold me now so near
I lift my keening thoughts to Helicon
As trees rooted to the earth uprear
Their quickening leaves & flowers to the sun
You who are earth. O never doubt that I
Need you no less because I need the sky

_____________________________________

Another hopeless romantic poetry like Browning's.  What passion has driven the persona to write such poetry of love?  The first line typically suggests that the protagonist is the earth of the persona?  What is meant by this? Literally, it just means that the persona can never live nor breathe without the protagonist. The gravity that ballasts me into space suggests that the protagonist is the persona's balancer, without the protagonist then the persona would be lost.  For food and shelter against devouring days is poetically spoken and would be tantamount to "when we're hungry, love will keep us alive". And sets my north & south, east & west, what else could be stated that the persona's life evolves around the protagonist.

Helicon, I guess refers to Mount Helicon in Boeotia, Greece.  It can be further analyzed into two.  Helicon, is the mountain of the Muses where reside which can lead to the last line where the persona said, need you no less because I need the sky.  Muses are living near the gods back in ancient mythology wherein the gods live in the sky.  Furthermore, Helicon can be referred to as the sky and/or gods and basically, the persona worships the protagonist in the poem just like the Greeks worshipped the gods and goddesses and muses back then.

the time traveller's wife

I have watched this movie just last saturday and I just can't help but be emphatic and melodramatic for the protagonists in the movie.  It seems like their lives are boxed in what if and hoping that the time travelling stops and they could just live their normal, happy and simple lives. The story is not your typical  happily ever after movie but it captivates the attention, mind and passion of the movie goers...

A suggested movie! Rating it a little over 9. (o'_'o)

my bestfriend's wedding


I have a favor to ask, I'm hoping it's not too much.  After all, you said you'd always be there for me, so, here it goes. Don't like her. Don't pick her. Anyone but HER.  it hurts me too much.  And if I could possibly fit one more thing in there if it is okay with you, maybe, just maybe, do think you could fall for me?

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Analysis of Elizabeth Barrett Browning's Sonnets from the Portuguese, Sonnet 43





Sonnet XLIII

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of everyday's
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints, - - I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life - - and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.

___________________________________________________

Sonnet 43 is in iambic pentameter.  Iambic Pentameter is popularized by the Italian model of Petrarch(1304-1374) and by the English model of Shakespeare (1564-1616).  A rhyme scheme of ABBA, ABBA (lines 1 to 8) and CD (lines 9 to 14) was used, having ten syllable per with five pairs of unstressed and stressed syllables.  

Sonnet 43 is the second to the last Sonnet and the most popular among the sonnets Browning wrote.  Then again, the sonnet deeply expresses Browning's love for Robert Browning.  First and second line especially refers to the protagonist of the sonnet, being referred to by the persona as Thee.  The third and fourth line refers to the spiritual realm of the soul in reaching the goal of living. In the fifth and sixth line of the sonnet, she states that her love for Robert Browning meets her everyday's need.  It can be noticed that the word need was used instead of the word want.  Basically, it characterizes the persona's unyielding love and it expresses the inevitability of Robert in the persona's life.  The seventh to the eleventh lines of the sonnet seems to deal with the purity and freedom of choice of the persona in loving the protagonist.  It refers to the intensity of love which can be equaled to either suffering and mourning.  It also refers to the purity and simplicity of a child's love with fervor to the saints.  Lastly, twelfth to the fourteenth lines of the sonnet refers to the undying, unyielding, eternal and unending love of the persona to the protagonist.

almost lover

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

forgive me love (repost)

I, went to your house
Walked up the stairs
Opened the door without ringing the bell
Walked down the hall
Into your room
Where I could smell you
And I, I shouldn't be here
Without permission
I shouldn't be here?
Would you forgive me love?
If I dance in your shower
Would you forgive me love?
If I laid in your bed
Would you forgive me love?
If I stayed all afternoon oh
I took off my clothes
Put on your robe
Went through your drawers
And I found your cologne
Went down to the den
Found your cds
And I played your Joni
And I shouldn't stay long
You might be home soon
I shouldn't stay long
Would you forgive me love?
If I dance in your shower
Would you forgive me love?
If I laid in your bed
Would you forgive me love?
If I stayed all afternoon
I burned your incense
I ran a bath
I notice a letter that sat on your desk
It said hello love
I love you so love
Meet me at midnight
And no, it wasn't my writing,
I better go soon
It wasn't my writing
So forgive me love
If I cry in your shower
So forgive me love
For the salt in your bed
So forgive me love
If I cry all afternoon oh

Song

Love me with your whole heart
or give me no love to me,
Half-love is a poor thing,
Neither Bond nor free
you must love me gladly
soul & body too,
or else find a new love,
and good-by to you

acceptance


 
Pain in relationships can either be categorized into letting go or moving on.  Letting go is sacrificing what was rightfully yours while moving on is forgetting what was never even yours to begin with.
But both prospects involve accepting in order to heal. Accepting that the person can never be yours or never will be yours again is the first step.
Acceptance is the hardest part especially when our emotions get the better of us.  It is like holding on to something which pains you – it is like struggling in the middle of the ocean wanting to live, wanting to be saved but the other person is at the shore just watching us drown.  It is like gripping onto the thorny rose knowing that we are bleeding but we still hold onto it believing that we would get the sweetest smell out of it.  But the irony of it is that no matter how much we want, no matter how much we need, no matter how much we desire, and no matter how much we love, we end up getting hurt and alone.
Maybe we did something wrong.  Maybe we were just meant to be taught a lesson but every pain that lurks in our hearts we wished that broken hearts can be mended by band aids like skinned knees.  But maybe just maybe we are still hoping that in the end they can be ours.  Sadly, no matter how we wish for our fairy tale ending it will never happen.
After few quiet moments, after a few “me” times, we get to the point of realization that what we want will sometimes not be ours so it’s best to let things go because they are not ours and are not meant to be in our lives.  Some are just passing by, some are just teaching us lessons, some are just stopping for a moment or two but no matter what their purpose in our life is, it is better to accept that there are instances in our lives that we have to let go or move on. 
Time heals all wounds, so they say, but accepting what has happened to our lives is one thing we should learn to do whether you loved deeply or got hurt badly, once in our lives we are hurt, once in our lives we are bruised but no matter how bruised or hurt we are in the end we get to stand up and live again and love again.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

i hate her...


I hate her when she says she loves me

i hate her when i feel the warmth of her touch during cold nights

i hate her cause i still feel her kisses and caress when sunset comes

i hate her cause she has given me the strength to endure all odds

i hate her coz she taught me how to love

i hate her coz she showed me the true meaning of love

i hate her when she pushes me away when in fact she wants me to be there

i hate her when she makes me cry

i hate her when she accepted me for who i am

i hate her when she cries because she makes me want to hug her just tight

i hate her coz she's leaving me without even saying goodbye

i hate her when she makes me laugh when im down

i hate her coz we've shared lots of ups & downs

i hate her when she pouts her lips because it softens me

i hate her when she wants an ice cream during stormy days

i hate her coz she taught me how to love & treasure her

i hate her when i asks her to stay but she wouldn't listen

i hate her when she has tantrums that drive me crazy

i hate her sweetness on hot summer afternoons

i hate her when she calls me at 3am that makes me sleepless the whole day

i hate her coz she's my life

these are the things i hate about her which just makes me love her more.

on moving on and letting go...

you can only love someone if you love yourself completely
and you have so much love to give..

you should never tell yourself
i'll stop loving him if i'm loving someone new
but instead
tell yourself
i'll stop loving him because i'm starting to love myself first..

CONTRADICTION

I thought that....

I'll never admire you
but my eyes keep on staring at you...

I'll never care for you
but I can't control myself not to worry about you...

I'll never think of you
but I keep on looking for you...

I'll never fall for you
but my heart shouts I'm missing you...

I'll never need you
but my days will not be complete without you

but most of all
I'll never love you
well in fact it's obvious...


... I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT YOU...


** this post is located at my drafts folder and was originally written on 25 August 2009, 5:34PM so I decided to just post it.  What the heck, I don't even remember my inspiration for this one **