Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Mamma Mia! soundtrack

My mother have always liked ABBA songs so i grew up listening to their songs that's why i appreciate the movie so much. I admit to crying in one scene in the movie and the accompaniment song. it was the scene that meryl streep was watching her daughter get ready for her wedding. Slipping through my fingers is one song that deeply moved me. i wanted to hug my mother out right and tell her that no matter what happens in my life, she will always be my one and only greatest love. that without her i would be nothing in this world. i am pasting the song in my blog. i sure do hope people will relate to it. i hope people will realize that we don't have an eternity to spend the rest of our lives with our parents who would do everything to make us happy and would never ever forsake us though the whole world betrays us, our parents will always be there for us.

i love my mother so much. i might be hard headed but i will always love my mother and deep inside of me, i will forever remember her actions, her words and her love which is forever etched in my heart.

Schoolbag in hand, she leaves home in the early morning
Waving goodbye with an absent-minded smile
I watch her go with a surge of that well-known sadness
And I have to sit down for a while
The feeling that Im losing her forever
And without really entering her world
Im glad whenever I can share her laughter
That funny little girl

Slipping through my fingers all the time
I try to capture every minute
The feeling in it
Slipping through my fingers all the time
Do I really see whats in her mind
Each time I think Im close to knowing
She keeps on growing
Slipping through my fingers all the time

Sleep in our eyes, her and me at the breakfast table
Barely awake, I let precious time go by
Then when shes gone theres that odd melancholy feeling
And a sense of guilt I cant deny
What happened to the wonderful adventures
The places I had planned for us to go
(slipping through my fingers all the time)
Well, some of that we did but most we didnt
And why I just dont know

Slipping through my fingers all the time
I try to capture every minute
The feeling in it
Slipping through my fingers all the time
Do I really see whats in her mind
Each time I think Im close to knowing
She keeps on growing
Slipping through my fingers all the time

Sometimes I wish that I could freeze the picture
And save it from the funny tricks of time
Slipping through my fingers...

Slipping through my fingers all the time

Schoolbag in hand she leaves home in the early morning
Waving goodbye with an absent-minded smile...

Mamma Mia!

How i love the movie. I've always loved musicals, i don't know why. the movie might not have a very deep story but it is not shallow either. i love how the characters professed their love for each other. how they took care of their friendship, love affairs, and mother and daughter love. this movie is a hit for me. a bonus is the abba soundtrack which i grew up listening to (i'm listening to it up until now) since my mother loves this band so much.

Gossip Girl

Been in bed for like the whole day watching DVDs and re-runs on TV. Since it's a holiday I thought i should treat myself for a day of relaxation. The Gossip Girl series has been kind of addicting which i believe is because of the fact that teenagers experience the on screen scenes in their lives. I kind of focuses on drugs, vices and queen bees in high school life.

Every high school has a queen bee. And almost everyone in school wants to suck up to these queen bees either for popularity or for being in. i always questioned the fact that high school can never be without queen bees. why does every student who is not so popular are bullied by queen bees.

watching the movie makes me wonder why i never helped the bullied students. i was never a queen bee neither was i bullied back in school. i had my fair share in its history, being a constant contender for beauty queen title in high school, a president o various organizations and of course the sought after prom queen title.

i was all these but i don't get people who bullies other just to show them that they are better. are they afraid that taking off their chameleon jacket would make them less popular or less accepted. not that i am bad mouthing gossip girl, it's just that every time i see the TV series i can always relate to it. i always remember our high school corridors and all the suck ups and its queen bees.

looking back, you will wonder who are afraid to be left alone, is it the queen bee or her battalion? just wondering.

Sunday, August 31, 2008

Ireland




This is one place I've always dreamt of visiting.

Walking all the day
Near tall towers where falcons build their nests
Silver-winged they fly
They know the call of freedom in their breasts
Saw Black Head against the sky
Where twisted rocks they run to the sea
Living on your western shore
Saw summer sunsets, asked for more
I stood by your Atlantic Sea
And sang a song for Ireland

Drinking all the day
In old pubs where fiddlers love to play
Saw one touch the bow
He played a reel which seemed so grand and gay
Stood on Dingle Beach and cast
In wild foam we found Atlantic bass
Living on your western shore
Saw summer sunsets, asked for more
I stood by your Atlantic Sea
And sang a song for Ireland

Talking all the day
With true friends who try to make you stay
Telling jokes and news
Singing songs to pass the time away
Watched the Galway salmon run
Like silver dancing, darting in the sun
Living on your western shore
Saw summer sunsets, asked for more
I stood by your Atlantic Sea
And sang a song for Ireland

Dreaming in the night
I saw a land where no one had to fight
Waking in your dawn
I saw you crying in the morning light
Sleeping where the falcons fly
They twist and turn all in your air-blue sky
Living on your western shore
Saw summer sunsets, asked for more
I stood by your Atlantic Sea
And sang a song for Ireland

WILD FLOWER


7:42 p.m.
Tuesday
29 July 2003

From the time we met, so much tenderness was felt and seen. Years passed, we remained faithful to each other. I loved him because of the enigmatic charm he exudes and that wild side of him.

Then came a time that the enigmatic charm made me so clueless about what he really feels. I was hopeless, thinking I have done everything and I wanted a way out.

I said, “I don’t want to go steady anymore. I want this ridicule to end” but he remained silent and still, then my hopes began to vanish.

“What can I do to change your mind?” he then asked me.

I slowly faced him, “If you were given a choice between two things for our love to survive, what will you choose? To pick a wild flower in the rocky mountains and die or you’ll change your attitude?”

He looked at me bewildered and said, “I’ll give you my answer tomorrow morning.” Then headed out the door.

Upon waking up, I found a letter in my dresser and recognized e scrawny handwriting, it read:

I won’t choose anything but please let me explain. I won’t change because you loved me the way I am and I will never pick that wild flower for you and die, I know you are wondering why. Of course, who would help you see the beautiful scenes when your eyes get blurred due to old age? Who would help you cross the street when you become an elderly? Who would hug you when you feel alone? Who would hug you when you’re cold? Lastly, who would say, “Yes, I do” to you I front of the altar? Who would do all these things if I die? Not until I a sure that someone will do these for you, I cannot yet pick that wild flower and die. If you changed your mind, I am at the porch swing with your breakfast.”

I then run outside and gave him a tight embrace with tears streaming down my face.

Now I know that material things merely enlighten a sometimes dull relationship but true love lying beneath the surface, although sometimes unseen, is the main foundation of a perfect relationship.

ALL I WANT

7:37 p.m.
Tuesday
15 July 2002

All I want
Is to share cans of Sprite with you
A slice of pizza would be fine too
On this sunny afternoon
All I want
Is to be with you
To spend the day lazily
Moving and grooving to a beat
Just like the old times
Times when we could talk
For a whole day
Free to say anything we want
Singing our hearts out
Laughing so hard
Sharing the coziness of the room
And when we part ways
We’ll remember the company we shared
Full in memory.

BEING LOVED BY YOU













9:34
Wednesday
18 September 2002
Just look at me
With your expressive eyes
And I’ll surely melt like ice
Tell me
The sweetest words
And fill my heart with joy
Let me taste your lips
And the sweetness of it
So soft and so warm
Cradle me against your body
In your protective arm
So strong and gallant
Drowse me
In your aromas
Of musk and hues
For the only thing
Which enlightens my senses
Is being loved by you.

TO THE GIRL HE LOVES




8:54 p.m. Wednesday 18 September 2002
Can I please have some words with you
And I’m hoping you would listen to me
Because this concerns about a boy,
The boy who I love
And the boy who makes me smile

We have been going on for a while
And he loved me,
Before you came along
Before you came into his life
And before he showed interest in you
At once he changes
From being my only love to a person unknown to me
Like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde
And when I found out why,
I know it’s time to say goodbye.
He told me “Good friends we will always be.”
And I know that is how things will be from now on.
Though you may not agree with me,
I still love him and that will never change.
I feel very sad
An emotion, which I can no longer hide
I can’t stop my tears from flowing
As I continue to write
For if you will ask me,
If I love him,
A very simple “yes” will be my answer
But I don’t think it would matter,
For you are already the apple of his eyes.
For the time that has passed
For the time we have spent together
He has been the center of my emotions
Why my heart is beating and why I am breathing
For now, I am pretending he is with me
I know many nights will be sleepless
Many days will be full of illusions
Many hours will be spent reminiscing
Because I know he is gone for good
Maybe this happened
Because we are not meant for each other
Though this has caused me so much pain
I can’t help myself but cry
Which I think is the only thing I could do to ease the pain
So here’s message for you
Take care of him, adore him
Love him cherish him
These are the things I used to do
The things I would gladly do.
Just don’t tell him my heart is breaking
Don’t tell him I am crying
Because I don’t want him to know
And please do me a last favor
Offer to him the love I can no longer show.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Love is patient and kind; it is not jealous or conceited or proud; love is not ill-mannered or irritable; love is not happy with evil but is happy with the truth. Love never gives up; and its faith, hope, and patience never fail.

10 things I hate about you


I hate the way you talk to me,
And the way you cut your hair
I hate the way you drive my car,
I hate it when you stare.
I hate your big dumb combat boots,
And the way you read my mind.
I hate you so much it makes me sick
It even makes me rhyme.
I hate the way you’re always right
I hate it when you lie
I hate it when you make me laugh
Even more when you make me cry
I hate it when you are not around,
And the fact you didn’t call
But mostly I hate the way
I don’t hate you
Not even near
Not even close
Not even close at all.

Saturday, August 30, 2008

tranquility of the night



Tonight, the world is at peace. I am going to sleep in a while and hope I have sweet dreams. Good night all.

Minimalist Proclivity of the Filipinos

In the status quo, we Filipinos often think of small, midget, cute things. What never got inside our minds is that we are under the penchant of the minimalist proclivity. In light of recent events, I observed that everything comes in small packages. Everything is in sachet. A professor once told our class that the sachet phenomenon is booming. According to her it is because of the need of the Filipinos to survive everyday.

But the thing is the Filipinos are used to the feeling of smallness. There are few Filipinos who think that they can do it. Who think that they can excel. The feeling of smallness was engrossed to us due to the fact of the many years of colonization.

When can we learn? When can we start to be proud of ourselves? Of our nationality? Just asking. Just wondering.



boracay






There is something about the calm ocean that soothes and relaxes the soul. The calm sea waves, the blue skies, the tranquility of the ocean makes me wonder about a lot of things in life. Boracay. One of the most known tourist spot in our country. I love Boracay for many reasons I never can utter. For the soothing effect that gives my tired mind and body. I will alway go back to Boracay, either for vacation or for relaxation. The audacity of the place makes me wonder if the Philippines is truly a blessed country.

Te amo. Yo le pierdo tanto


Yo le pierdo tanto. Estar mucho tiempo en sus armamentos. Para ser se siente que soy adorado. En sus armamentos yo me siento seguro. Yo me siento adorado. Yo le pierdo mi estimado. Yo le pierdo tanto bebé. La vida ha sido dura. Nosotros siempre tratamos de ocultar nuestros deseos más profundos de corazón. Todo deseo en este mundo es de estar en sus armamentos. mentir en sus armamentos.

just about me


i am affable i easily strike up a conversation with anybody I meet no matter what their status in life is.a friend whom you can trust to tell you what i think your problem is and someone who will not tolerate you on doing something wrong.i am frank, I tell you things that you dont wanna hear. i make impulsive actions which sometimes i dont know what the outcome will be. the HEART???? i dont believe in it, it just PUMPS blood, no power to take over your entire system i is still the mind who controls your emotions(try reading science books). i BELIEVE IN THE MYSTERY OF LOVE which is something that will cut deep, something which can bring you happiness and sorrow at the same time, can make you confused and unreasonable altogether. i'm someone who doesnt care what other people will say, I am me, no one can tell me what i should say, how i should act or behave, accept me for who I am because i wont be brought down by criticisms. tactless one thing for sure i am, love to give out side comments since that is my freedom, i dont give a shit if people would get angry by what i say, its the truth anyway. has a contemplative bent over friendship. very critical when it comes to music and books and colors. i hate gaudy, loud and monotonous things. have a very unostentatious, discreet choice of friends. i dont like people who depend on other people especially for hand-outs, people who are loud and showy. i am childish. i dont have a night life, id rather stay at home coz ive been so busy the whole day. i hate snoops. im strong-willed I always get what i want and i wont stop until i get it. i have an irreverent manner. at times i like to pulverize someone's ego especially if it sinks into my system and it irritates me. i cry over heart-warming-feel-good movies (have you watched the notebook). i have an unyielding passion for honesty coz i dont lie, i probably don't tell the whole truth only half the truth but still it is not a lie....

Economy of the Few, By the Few and For the Few

Years ago, we have been called as the Tiger Economy of Asia, businesses boomed, government cared about what happens to its citizens, rice were not scarce, dollar exchange rate is not as high, gasoline were not sold at almost 60 pesos per liter. What happened to our economy? Why is it that people who are rich becomes richer? Foreigners and foreign corporations become the players in the market and the economy. What happened to the Filipino First Policy we had during Carlos P. Garcia’s presidency?

I think and I can observe that in the status quo, the rich become richer and the poor become poorer and why did this become the status quo? Couldn’t it have been prevented?

Actually, the answer is yes. It could have prevented if and only if the government supported the poor and the micro businesses established. It could have been prevented if micro businesses and middle class society is not burdened by different kinds of taxes, which are not paid, by the upper class and the foreign investors.

The problem with our society is that they are taking care of the big players in the industry but they do not protect the right of the micro businesses. Just last 19 June 2008, while reading my daily newspaper, I have came across a section, which I cannot clearly remember, but the main context of the write-up was that the government and the big players in the power industry in against amending the EPIRA law.

And why are they against the amendment? They said that they are against the amendment because it will scare off investors. I believe that what they are afraid of is competition. Unmonolopolizing the market would bring in new players, new competition. That is what the big players in the industry are afraid of, COMPETITION. They are afraid that if and when new players enter the business they will not have monopoly; as such they will not be able to maintain the status quo. Monopoly scares off new players without new players the economy will be dead. Without new players, again, the rich will be richer and the poor will be poorer – as the cliché goes.

Graft and corruption entered out system. Greed became the goal of every politician. Each and every one is living for himself only. Why is it that other countries pay much higher taxes than ours but they can see improvement? Denmark can be a very good example. Their salaries have 50% tax, e-vat is 24%, yet they are not complaining. Why? It is because the government pays for their children’s education until they have finished college. I, as a taxpayer would be willing to give that much to the government if I can see changes, if I can see that the Philippines is moving forward.

But then again one problem is of course the feeling of smallness of the Filipinos. Filipinos never speak out. We are always inclined towards the bahala system the Spaniards have taught us – ningas kugon – so as to speak. We, Filipinos, tend to say “Bahala na” whenever we feel that things are not turning out right. We always say that everything will always turn out right anyway.

We never realized that the more we shrug our shoulders about what’s happening, the more we Filipinos are put down. The more we shut up and don’t stand up for ourselves, the more we will be belittled.

Years ago, when people hears that we are Filipinos they think we are the best. They think we can compete with the world but what happened to that view? When you say Filipino, the first thing that comes into the mind of others is – domestic helpers. Yes, sad to say but it is true. We are the domestic helpers of other countries.

We can still make a difference I know that for fact. I am not idealistic but I just want to be in a country where everyone is regarded to as equal. Where everyone has a chance of surviving on daily without struggling hard.

Where are the Filipinos who used to be heroes? Where are the Filipinos who have great minds? Why is it that the government tends to favor the rich and disregard the poor? What has happened to our society? What can we do?

Believe that the change should start in us. Evaluate the status quo. Speak out. Encourage. Envision Philippines to be the Tiger Economy of Asia again.


forgive me love


I, went to your house
Walked up the stairs
Opened the door without ringing the bell
Walked down the hall
Into your room
Where I could smell you

And I, I shouldn't be here
Without permission
I shouldn't be here?

Would you forgive me love?
If I dance in your shower
Would you forgive me love?
If I laid in your bed
Would you forgive me love?
If I stayed all afternoon oh

I took off my clothes
Put on your robe
Went through your drawers
And I found your cologne
Went down to the den
Found your cds
And I played your Joni
And I shouldn't stay long
You might be home soon
I shouldn't stay long

Would you forgive me love?
If I dance in your shower
Would you forgive me love?
If I laid in your bed
Would you forgive me love?
If I stayed all afternoon

I burned your incense
I ran a bath
I notice a letter that sat on your desk
It said hello love
I love you so love
Meet me at midnight
And no, it wasn't my writing,
I better go soon
It wasn't my writing

So forgive me love
If I cry in your shower
So forgive me love
For the salt in your bed
So forgive me love
If I cry all afternoon oh

This is not a poem


Black.
Empty.
Dark.

This is not a poem.
I am not a poet.

Vague.
Bleak.
Vast.

This is not a poem.
I am not a poet.

Changes in my life (wrote this months ago)


It's almost a month since we've parted ways, I still miss the days when I could always call on to him any time I need someone to be there for me. I guess there are situations in our life that no matter how hard we try, things which are not meant to be will never be meant to be.

The irony of hello is always goodbye. I know that after sorrowful goodbyes there will be joyous hellos which I wish will not end in another goodbye. Goodbyes are sometimes needed to be said in order to know what lies ahead of us.

Goodbyes should not be taken negatively. I believe that goodbyes are said in order for us to grow, in order for us to know what we really want and what should have been done.

I never believed in destiny nor in fate but as far as I know, with every goodbye that is said, it leaves a mark in my heart which I am accepting with open arms and that every goodbye will bring me the content and joy that my heart always yearns for.

After five long years, I have accepted that there are something which are never meant to be. No matter how long we have fought for what we feel inside, it will always come to an end especially if it was never for you.

At the end of our journey, every pleasant hello, every painful goodbye we will realize that the memories that each hello and goodbye brought in our life lead us to comforting arms of the person we are supposed to spend the rest of our life with.

Letting Go


What’s most painful in life is that knowing in the end after the love you felt for each other, after each and every step you had to take to fight for the love you felt, time will come – when you are loving the most – the greatest torture that can be done to you is letting go of the person you
loved most. Why doesn’t love have a best before seal so that I can stop loving the person before I get hurt? I know I cannot hold onto anything that wants to go, I just have to cherish each and every moment I am with that person. Still, why does it hurt? Why do I cry every night? Here I am, after all the heartaches, after all the pain, after all the sorrows – still hoping, still loving in silence.

No one can say that they’ve move on, no can one can say that they’ve learned to let go because every smile etches a pain in the heart. Every heartbreak leaves an unerasable scar. Why does love fade even if you did everything to nurture it?

I have found the man who made me believe that love is possible but sadly he also made me realize that love always end up in me getting hurt.

An ending question to all – Why does anyone love if they know that they will end up getting hurt?