Wednesday, June 3, 2015

Sa Ngalan ng Ama, ng Anak at Espiritu Santo.

Sa Ngalan ng Ama, ng Anak, at ng Espiritu Santo, Amen. Leche! Ang tagal ko ng hindi naniniwala sa pagdadasal na yan.  Wala naman naitutulong na mabuti yan sakin eh.  Araw-araw na lang akong nagdudusa at nahihirapan.  Bakit ganun? Parang ang paghihirap ko ay walang katapusan?

Araw-araw na lang akong pumapasok ng simbahan at nagdadasal habang naglalakad ako ng paluhod sa Quiapo at Baclaran pero bakit wala pa ring nangyayari sa hinihiniling ko?  Minsan inisip ko pinagkaitan talaga ako ng tadhana.

Sige, ikaw ba naman ang ipanganak bilang panganay na anak sa isang maralitang bahay na halos isang kayod isang tuka?  Panganay nga ako pero 10 naman kaming magkakapatid! Bakit di kaya naisip ng mga mga magulang ko na nakaka-bad trip yung ginawa nila? Hindi ba nila naisip na habang sila eh nasa rururok ng kaligayahan eh may mga bata na magugutom at hindi makakakain dahil sa labis nilang paggawa ng anak? Taun-taon na lang eh nanganganak ang nanay ko!

Eto pa, 10 na nga kaming magkakapatid eh bigla pang iiwan ng tatay ko ang nanay ko! Aba! Matindi! Ngayon ako aasahan ng nanay ko na kumayod para sa amin? 16 pa lang ako pero hinahangad ng nanay ko na makapangasawa ako agad ng mayaman at ng mawala kami sa putik na kinakasadlakan namin!

Umaga na naman pala! Pangatlong araw na iniwan kami ni tatay. Ang nanay ko naman eh nagtutulug-tulugan na naman at iniisip ata nya na babalikan pa kami ni tatay samantalang ang tsismis nga eh sumama na sa matandang babae para maiahon siya sa hirap.  Ako bilang panganay ang bibigyan na naman ng responsibilidad upang kumayod at magasikaso sa lahat ng kapatid ko.

Hayaan sige, bilang ate, ako na gagawa ng lahat, magluluto ng almusal papaliguan ang mga bata tapos ihahatid sa eskuwelahan at dun naman ako kakayod at magkakakalkal ng basura para makabenta man lang ng kalakal upang makakain kami ng tanghalian at hapunan.

Gutom na gutom na nga ako pero dahil bilang ate kailangan ko magsakripisyo para sa mga kapatid ko na sila muna ang kumain bago ako.  Alam nyo, mahirap ang buhay naming kasi di namin alam kung saan kami kukuha ng pambili ng pagkain eh. Tapos paglabas mo pa sa kalsada, sisingilin ka pa ni Aling Maria dahil may utang pa kaming limang de lata ng sardinas na hindi pa bayad. Pagdating mo sa traysikelan eh puro polusyon ang malalanghap mo pa. Ni hindi ka pa nga nakakalayo eh amoy usok at basura ka na eh!

Ano pa ang aasahan ko sa pagdadasal? Wala diba? Kung nakikinig talaga ang Diyos sa mga panalangin ko eh di sana kahit ung kinakain man lang namin eh nabibigyan ng solusyon at hindi talaga kami nag-iisip! Eh hindi eh! Kaya yang sinasabi niyong Diyos niyo parang hindi totoo dahil kung mahal Niya lahat ng nilikha Niya hindi kami malilipasan ng gutom.  Minsan iniisip ko na lang din na kitilin ang buhay ko eh pano pa kami mabubuhay kung ganito? Mahirap ang sitwasyon namin, mahirap na iisipin ko saan ako kukuha ng pangkain, pangmatrikula ng mga kapatid ko. 

Alam ko na! Bakit nga kaya di lang ako pumasok dun sa bar sa kanto namin.  Wala naman masama kung magsasayaw lang ako eh, wala namang pwedeng mangyari sakin dun. Siguro naman papasa akong 18 na, sabi kasi nila bawal ang menor de edad.  Kung gagawin ko ung baka pwede pa kaming kumain ng maayos.

******
Ayan na nga ba ang sinasabi ko eh!! Tatlong taon na ako na nagpuputa eh wala pa rin nangyayari sa buhay namin! Namatay na ang nanay ko tapos etong apat ko naman na kapatid eh drug addict na! Yung iba ko namang kapatid na babae eh nagsipag-asawa n asana etong bunso na lang ang matirang matino sa amin at makapagtapos ng kolehiyo.

Napadaan nga ako nung isang araw sa Quiapo eh nakita ko ung mga nagdadasal ng paluhod dun, tinawanan ko lamang dahil alam ko kahit magasgas pa ang tuhod nila kakalakad ng paluhod eh walang mangyayari.  Wala rin naman makikinig sa kanilang Diyos dahil hindi totoo un eh! Walang Diyos! Wala un! Dahil lahat na ginawa kong pagdadasal simula nung nagkaisip ako pero puro hirap pa din eh. Walang kwentang magdasal sa Diyos niyo!

******
Si Nene nakatapos na ng kolehiyo sa wakas! Kahit papano ang aking paghihirap at pagdudusa bilang bayarang babae eh nagbunga naman.  Malapit na nga siyang magumpisa bilang sekretarya sa isang maliit na kumpanya.  Sabi ko nga ok na yan kesa maging pokpok kang kagaya ko!

Buti nga at nagkapagumpisa na siya ng trabaho at kahit papano makakapagbigay na siya sa bahay kasi lahat ng kapatid namin ay puro asa ang alam at pati mga asawa at anak nila eh inaasa na nila sakin. Halos wala na nga akong pahinga sa pagpasok sa bar eh.  Kahit sino na nga eh pinapatulan ko kahit bata o matanda pa yan, sayang yan pera din yan.

Ngunit ngayong araw na to, parang hindi ko kayong pumasok sa trabaho eh.  Nilalagnat ako ng tatlong araw na at inuubo. Minsan pa eh parang bigla akong bumagsak habang naglalakad sa kalsada. Pinipilit ng kapatid ko na ako ay magpakonsulta sa doctor na baka gawin ko din bukas pero dagdag gastos pa eh. Di bale sasahod naman na si Nene eh kahit papano ung gagastusin ko eh pwede ko muna iutang kay bunso.

******
Sa klinika ng doctor dito sa Maynila:

Doktor: Iha, hindi pa kami sigurado pero base sa mga resulta ng mga test na ginawa sayo, may AIDS ka at alam mo naman na hindi na magagamot ang AIDS. Ikinalulungkot ko pero may taning na ang buhay mo.

******
Nahihilo akong lumabas ng klinika ng doktor. May AIDS daw ako. Alam ko naman na hindi imposible yun eh pero nakakabigla lang kasi bata pa ako eh! May mga pangarap pa rin naman ako. Akala ko bago ko mag-edad na trenta eh makakapangasawa pa ako. Gusto kong umiyak, magpakamatay pero wala ng mangyayari eh mamatay pa din naman ako.

Habang naglalakad ako pauwi nasilayan ko ang Quiapo, inisip ko naman na pumasok kaya ako at kahit sa huling beses eh humiling ako at humingi ng tawad sa Kanya. Siguro naman kahit sinumpa ko Siya at kinuwestiyon ko ang kapasidad Niya eh mapapatawad pa din nya ako.

Sa huli pumasok na ako at nagdasal ulit. Sa simbahan ko iniyak lahat ng hinagpis at problema ko. Dun ko nilabas lahat ng sama ng loob at katanungan ko sa Kanya. Bago ako umalis may lumapit na matanda at tinabihan nya ako sa upuan.

Ang tanging sinabi niya sa akin eh, “Anak, napansin ko parang nahihirapan ka na.  Huwag kang magalala lahat ng hirap mo ay nakita Nya at naramdaman din Niya iyon. Tandaan mo parati sa laban ng buhay mo eh kasama mo Siya at Siya lamang ang nagiisang kayang sumalba sa iyong kasalanan at pagdudusa. Mahal ka Niya, yan ang tatandaan mo.”

Kumurot sa puso ko ang sinabi ng matanda at habang nakayuko ako eh inabot nya sa akin ang panyong puti  na pamahid ng luha ko. Nang iangat ko ang ulo ko hinanap ko ang matanda para magpasalamat at hagkan siya ngunit pagtingin ko wala naman akong katabi.

Sa puntong iyon puro iyak na lang ang aking ginawa pero parang ang gaan ng aking pakiramdam.  


Sa Ngalan ng Ama, ng Anak, at ng Espiritu Santo. Amen. 

********************************
Disclaimer: The story is entirely fictional and created by the owner of this blog, any similarity in character, name and location to a real person is unintended and the above story does not refer to anyone in particular. 

Disclaimer: Ang maiksing istory na ito ay kathang-isip lamang ng may-ari ng blog.  Kung mayroon mang pagkakahawig nito sa tunay na buhay, ito ay hindi sinasadya ng writer.  Ang istoryang ito ay hindi pinapatungkulan ang kahit sino. 

Tuesday, June 2, 2015

Thoughts


Out of the 6 billion people in the world have you ever thought how you will find that one person who you will spend the rest of your life with?

Is he the guy you bumped shoulders with at the mall or is he the guy you saw at Hardeees eating?

Have you ever thought that once in your life you will meet that one person and that once you meet him you know life is perfect?


Till next blog, 



Monday, June 1, 2015

Random Poetry

I live inside the depths of your heart
Where I am bound and chained
And forever imprisoned by you

You're so distant and cold
By the park I walk and see 
Stone faced angels, so hard, so cold, 
Like your heart has been

My heart was once owned
And ruled by you
However, I know that love just gives pain
It goes eventually and when it's gone
There's no lasting memory

A lesson from loving:
Never be cynical about love for in the face
Of all aridity and disenchantment
Love is as perennial as grass


Till next blog, 



Boredom kills!

So while I was at class I just couldn't find the strength to remain in seated in class, pretending to listen while I was doodling anything on my notebook. 

The class dragged on! What seemed to be a three hour class was like an eternity to me.  I excused myself and voila! Bought coffee and water but again, it didn't help my poor self. I still felt nauseous. 


Despite the three hour class, I doodled all non sense on my notebook and alas! Class ended, now I am back to my happy self!

Till next blog, 

Monday, May 25, 2015

Blurry

Good night cruel world
Realizing that the centre of the universe isn't you certainly does hurt
and that people's lives will go on without your interference hurts
calm.
peace.
transcendence.
humility.
life.
breathe.
Please hold my hand as I am scared and scarred
broken and not mended
heart is empty and vague
mind is blurry such as words
feelings of anxiety, of depression, of sadness 

Thursday, May 21, 2015

A Thousand Splendid Suns

Captivating is just one word that can best describe the book written by Khaled Hosseini.  If some of you haven’t read The Kite Runner and doesn’t know who Khaled Hosseini is, I suggest you better go to the nearest bookstore and purchase his 3 books. 



The Kite Runner (I might give another review on a separate blog) made me want to cry myself to sleep and in all honesty, it did cause me a sleepless night right after reading it.  However, given the situation and having read the second book of Mr. Hosseini, I can fairly say that “The Kite Runner” and “A Thousand Splendid Suns” were as soul wrenching, heart gripping a real page turner.

Both the novels of Mr. Hosseini made me understand and realize the trials and tribulations of a war torn country.  A Thousand Splendid Suns made me picture out what was really happening out in the real world.  The novel made me see the trials and all the heartaches a war torn country could ever experience. 

The novel dealt a lot with loss, pain, suffering, and even betrayal.  Of course, it is not all that bad; it had a lot of good points and values.  It taught the readers, how to HOPE even at your most weak moment, even at a person’s defeating hour.

At the end, who can be said as a true hero, the protagonist of the story?  Was it Mariam or Laila?  I leave it up to the readers to decide but for me, the two were the protagonists, they endured a lot of pain in their hearts and still survived the battle.  Mariam might be seen as the main protagonist but her role in the novel was not just to take care of her own heart but also those of Laila’s and even the future of the orphanage.


Bravado to the writing of Khaled Hosseini and may he always captivate our hearts.  Can’t wait to read his other book, “And The Mountains Echoed” 

Till next blog, 

Wednesday, May 20, 2015

Cafe Au Lait

As promised yesterday, I am posting my own version of CAFE AU LAIT:

Ingredients:
  - 1 cup milk
  - 1 cup light cream
  - 3 tbsp pf instant coffee
  - 2 cups of boiling water

Procedure:

1. Over low heat, place the milk in a pan and cream until hot.
2. Dissolve coffee in boiling water.
3. Beat milk mixture until foamy.
4. Pour milk mixture into the coffee pitcher making a hot stream

Above ingredients would produce at least 6 small coffee cups. 

If you would want a different variant of CAFFE LATTE, see below :)

Ingredients:
  - 2 cups milk
  - 1 cup freshly brewed dark roast espresso

Procedure:


1. Heat milk in a saucepan set over at medium-low heat
2. Whisk briskly to create a foam
3. Pour the espresso into coffee cups (the ingredients would normally make 4 coffee cups)
4. Pour in the milk while holding back the foam
5. Spoon foam over the top. 

NOTE: If you are creative enough, you may do any coffee art on the foam, like the below :) 



Till next blog,

Tuesday, May 19, 2015

Cupcakes by Sonja

I am not always into healthy foods and all the jazz.  I allow myself a few indulgences especially on my favorite foods but of course its not on a regular basis.  Maybe once a week or once every two weeks is fine to indulge on your favorite food.  


I have always been a huge fan of coffee and I guess will always be.  My daily routine would be: coffee. breakfast. coffee. work. coffee. lunch. coffee. read. coffee. dinner. coffee. sleep.  The cycle goes on every single day. Lol!

More coffee bean is used whenever I am stressed.  :) Ok so, I ordered another Latte, my all time favorite and I have to admit it is a very good Latte! I am a huge fan of "Caffe Latte", "Milchkaffee", "Cafe au lait", "Cafe creme", "Cafe con leche" or whatever you wanna call it.  

I am a huge fan and also a huge detractor whenever I don't get the right blend of the coffee. Well at home, I make my own recipe of it which I will gladly share with you on my next blog.

Going back, I so love their coffee, the aroma is perfect and the taste is perfect as well! Ranging from 1 to 10, I would it give it a 9 since the size of the coffee cups are the usual sizes that is being ordered but I prefer my coffee cup to be HUGE! GIANORMOUS actually, if there is one! :) 


I also ordered my all time favorite cupcake from Sonja's which is Choco Cream Cheese Swirl.  An absolute match made in heaven! What I love about this cupcake is that it is definitely not frothy or with a lot of whipping cream on top. 

What I love about this cupcake is that it is ultimately mouth watering and must be on-refrigerated.  According to the official Facebook page of Cupcakes by Sonja, Choco Cream Cheese Swirl is a perfectly moist Valrhona chocolate cupcake with cream cheese surprise.  

Overall rating for the cupcake, a perfect 10! You guys should try this out! Seriously, it is a cupcake to die for. 

If you want to visit its Facebook page, see below link:

https://www.facebook.com/CupcakesBySonjaOfficial

Sad note though, I missed their ScoutCampusTour at my Univ, last 15 May 2015.  :( 

Also, guys, this is not a paid advertisement.  I just love their cupcakes!  

Till next blog, 




Saturday, May 16, 2015

19 You + Me by Dan + Shay

http://i.ytimg.com/vi/S-Ac3uVAPZY/maxresdefault.jpg

I am soooooo loving this song :) of course I would gladly share the lyrics to the song.  In case there is something wrong with it, just feel free to comment and I will definitely edit the lyrics.  

below is the link for their youtube video:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QzfuLcIRK_M

**********************************************************
It was our first week at Myrtle Beach
Where it all Began

It was 102 nothin to do
Man it was hot
So we jumped in

We were summertim sippin', sippin'
sweet tea kissin' off of your lips
T-shirt drippin', drippin' wet
How could I forget?

Watching that blonde hair swing

To every song I'd sing
You were California beautiful
I was playing everything but cool
I can still hear that sound
Of every wave crashing down
Like the tears we cried
The day we had to leave 
It was everything we wanted it to be
The summer of 19 You and Me

We had our first dance in the sand
It was one hell of a souvenir
Tangled up, so in love
So, let's just stay right here


'Til the sun starts creepin', creeping' up
Right then I knew
Just what you were thinkin', thinkin' of
When I looked at you

Watching that blonde hair swing
To every song I'd sing
You were California beautiful
I was playing everything but cool
I can still hear that sound
Of every wave crashing down
Like the tears we cried
The day we had to leave 
It was everything we wanted it to be
The summer of 19 You and Me

Watching that blonde hair swing
To every song I'd sing
You were California beautiful
Beautiful, beautiful

Watching that blonde hair swing
To every song I'd sing
You were California beautiful
I was playing everything but cool
I can still hear that sound
Of every wave crashing down
Like the tears we cried
The day we had to leave 
It was everything we wanted it to be
The summer of 19 You and Me

First week in myrtle beach where it all began....

Thursday, May 14, 2015

Remember that......

Following my blog post yesterday about Dad Bod, I am writing this blog to promote health and wellness.  Like I said yesterday, we should aim for a healthy body not just a sexy body to impress people.   We must always remember what we were taught in kindergarten, “Health is Wealth”.

I was never a health buff when I was younger, I keep on eating all the junk food I could, all the fast food I can see and never thought about eating any vegetable or fruit thinking I’m invincible and can’t get fat and will always have the body and metabolism of a 20 year old college student. 

I was never so wrong in my life!  When I reached 27, my metabolism just got too slow! Yikes! I couldn’t lose weight as easily as I did when I was 23 and most of the time, I’m craving for sweet treats and feeling sleepy!

I ate all I wanted back then and didn’t give a damn about all the junk that goes into my body!  Then all of a sudden, my back always hurts and when I went to my physiotherapist, he told me that my body can no longer support my weight! Yikes! Since I have scoliosis and lumbar strain, there is a certain weight that I would be comfortable only and once I reached that limit, I couldn’t gain any single pound anymore or my body would just give in!

So right then and there, I decided to control my food intake especially junk food cravings and started to go to the gym. My goal that time was not to just lose weight and rock that mini skirt and tank top but rather be healthy.  I didn’t know that all the years of neglect on my body would take a toll on me that soon. 

I made a choice of eating healthy and exercising every day. When I was younger, I always made an excuse not to exercise and say, nah, I'm busy, maybe some other time.  Then again, being sick hit me hard.  So I gave it a try and it rocked my world! I love going to the gym.  Most of my close friends were like, “Woah! You’re sweating at the gym?!!? Seriously?!?!”  They know I’m not a health buff but I wanted my body pains to go away and concentrate on being healthy. 


There are times when I want to give up especially when I already lost some weight but I never gave up on losing the unwanted weight and my back never hurt after that! Lets always remember that our health is prime priority.    





Wednesday, May 13, 2015

Dad Bod

I have seen “dad bod” trending on my Facebook timeline and even on news feeds for a while now.  So I was quite curious with the hype and eventually Googled it and according to Urban Dictionary a DAD BOD or DAD BODY is: once in shape, but clearly has lost most athletic properties, best suited for sitting at a desk chair, possibly doing ones taxes. 
Fat and a fit man and their diet
http://www.dreamstime.com/royalty-free-stock-photography-fat-fit-man-their-diet-vector-illustration-image36414877

Ok, so clearly those with “dad bod” were once the high school or college jocks, athletic men or those who used to spend their time at the gym to get that ever desirable six pack abs or that muscled bicep.  So, what is actually the concept of the dad bod?  It just basically says that women prefer dad bods.

Personally, I believe this is just hype and is an excuse for men not to exercise and not live a healthy lifestyle.   While some would argue that this is a common issue on gender biases and even on appearance, since people would argue that it is unfair because men prefer a super sexy women – I beg to differ on this account (which I would discuss on the latter points)!

I am generally fine with men who doesn't have washboard abs but still is living a healthy lifestyle. I would of course be appalled if the belly pooch came from too much sitting or drinking beer until the wee hours of the morning. 

Again, the argument of women will be: we almost kill ourselves from dieting and going to the gym, why the heck should we accept dad bod?  This could be an issue for debate.  My two cents on this, ladies we shouldn't give a damn on what society dictates to us women! Go to the gym, diet, do yoga, do Zumba because YOU WANT TO BE HEALTHY!

I feel that everyone has different opinions about this dad bod hype, some are fine with it, some are not and there will be women demanding that the expectation of the women’s physique is very impossible and a dream actually for most.  I just feel that women shouldn't be compelled to adapt to what the magazines, news papers or whatever social network there is that says women should be stick thin.  I think that the problem is how women always want to conform to the dictates of society.

If men can have a dad bod, why can’t women have a mom bod or let’s just say not a supermodel body?  Ladies, if men really do love you, they won’t care whether your dress size is a 2, a 6 or even a 14!  Let us all remember though that we should always take care of our health and not just conform to the dictates of the society.

Whether we are thin, a little flabby or have muffin top, we shouldn't really care as long as we are comfortable with our own body and not allow anyone to tell use otherwise.  Remember that whatever size we are in, men or women, we have to first love ourselves before everyone starts to do so.

So cheers to everyone who does not conform to society’s dictates and loves their physique no matter what shape it is.  Just a friendly reminder, always stay healthy and watch what we eat! 





Pondering

At UST Reader's Cafe


As I was sitting on the local coffee shop inside our University campus, I realized that I really missed writing and I should get back on blogging which I haven't done for quite a while.  So with no further ado, I am back at blogging despite the fact that it took me a week to retrieve my site and my email addresses (I totally forgot all my passwords).

Again, I hope that my blog would get more interaction and comments from everyone who used to follow it!  


Have a nice day everyone!


XOXO,
Vanessa